No I am not going to write a review about the movie hypercube. I even haven't seen the movie. But the name was quite appealing ... few guys stuck in a cube or something. .. Imagine you are thrown in such a place... you are disconnected from your close ones. yo can not see them ..you can not hear them .and on top of that your telephone connection is blocked .. you can not even talk to them... and Oh yes you don't have the fancy to use internet to do a quick chat with those close ones... how does it feel ! don't worry about other essential stuffs ..like food, clothes , bed etc .. Rather lets pamper you a bit..you will get expensive clothings ... royal bed and exotic food .. and you feel ..wow !! but one day passed ..how do you feel now .. suffocated ..wanting to break free ..but you can not ..you live the same life ... Guess you are thinking I am narrating a ripped off version of Oldboy or it's stupid rip off Jinda .. well my intention was not to do so ..but sometimes you do get to experience life in such hypercube ..may be not for 25 years ..but for weeks months .. few years .. the duration may be significantly less than 25 years but that does not mean you won't go insane ..you won't become frustrated .. but so what ..u still live .. healthy ..and they will just say shit happens !
Well friends I am physically quite alright..back in mumbai .. cooked chicken myself and believe me chicken without chilly is not that bad ..rather quite good may be I am having chicken after long time so it tested even better ..anyway coming to my hairy story ..( off topic never use a MAC it sucks big time ..and u might have guessed by now I am using my friend's MAC and I feel like throwing it ) anyway sorry for loosing the track a bit ..so there i was cleaning meat before cooking and found something like hair ..of course that's not quite pleasing ..so I began to think why we have hair ..well I understand why we have hair on our head ...but what about other hairy regions ..for example beard .. fuck I hate shaving every 3rd day ( well ideally i should every 2nd day) ..but honestly what's the use ..I have never heard any girls saying oh darling ur rough cheek is so sexy please rub with mine .. yes I can sense some of u protesting ..there is one theory that it makes u look more manly ..honestly do u think so ..give me break ..I don't think it has anything to do to boost one's manliness. U have better organs for that ;) anyway still may be it gives some guys better look ..so may be it has some use ..but what about pubic hair ..well for girls( or should I say ladies) I can think of one reason ..may be it's to protect their soft world ..though If I were God I would have designed something less hairy for protection .. but that's another story ..why the hell guys have hair down there .. I can not imagine any way it can give any protection to our vital organ ..on the contrary if you are little bit less careful while trimming Mr J W Bush u might hurt your Johnson ( some kid used that word in some movie :D) ...so u know I was really curious ..so I went to wikipedia .. unfortunately it could not provide me any valid reason ..but my visit was not as useless as I guessed it would be ..It had a section on style ..lemme give you little bit of the glimpse of the style section .
"The modification of pubic hair can also be considered a statement about one's style or personal lifestyle as can leaving it unmodified. The fashion designer Mary Quant was notably proud that her husband trimmed hers into a heart shape"
There are many more styles .. natural, trimmed, triangle, landing strip, Chaplin mustache, Brazilian waxing, Fauxhawk, Mohawk, The Butch, The Bull ..
so many styles and I was daring to say it was useless.. forgive my fashion sense :P!!!
Anyway moral of the story ... "one love" is a bullshit song.. our bollywood has a better one ..
Kahin zhulf ka badal o ho, Kahin rangili aachal aa haa, Kahin hoat gulabi o ho, Kahin chaal sharabi aa haa, Kahin aankh lagadi o ho, Kahin jism ki khushboo aa haa, Kahin narma nigahe.n o ho, Kahin gori bahe.n aa haa,
Haa yaha.n kadam kadam par lakho.n haseenayen hai, so never listen to one love .. :D
Once I said if I am writing that means things are not fine with me. But all these time I was not in physical pain, but this time I am in great pain and it's 99% physical. I read somewhere if you are in mental pain you also get physically exhausted I don't know how severe is that pain..and how much is that for real and how much is just our "figment of imagination" (remember ratatouille? ). We feel addicted to those mental sadness ..but when the pain is physical and that too for more than couple of weeks and continued ...it is totally fucked up. Those who know me for past few years know that i am super foodie and pure non vegetarian. I don't spend my money on veg food unless it's absolutely good. But now I am totally screwed up ! according to the doctors I have fundus erosive gastritis ( quite an interesting name i guess :D) and good news is i should be fine within a month ( or may be I want to believe that.. optimistic me !) . Now unlike cold or fever in this case I am having severe ( to be precise fucking severe pain!) at least twice a day. today was better though till now ..though recently the duration of pain got reduced! I remember sitting on office lavatory floor coz I could not sit straight. There were nights when I almost felt like crying out loud ...wanted to break everything ..refused to talk to anyone.Things are better ...partially because of the medication and partially I learnt few tricks to control the pain. Wanna know the tricks .. might be useful for you ( though i wish such situation never comes in ur life)
1. Accept the fact you can not fucking do anything about the pain so imagine or think about something good ..some real sweet experience of yours.. I remembered my day in front of Sony world, Bidhannagar and onwards .. remembered evening at Juhu beach and that really helps ..specially when u r having cramps .. 2. imagine/think of some intimate moment with your girlfriend (preferably :P) or equivalent 3. If above two does not apply for you try to remember the last pron you watched .. unfortunately for me i forgot to store any porn in my Brain's hard disc before coming home. But fortunately first two works for me quite well. 3.1 If you are feeling little bit gloomy by now ..little PJ ..don't jerk off while in pain ..it will give you instant relieve for 5 mins but after that you are more fucked !!
Btw I am not in pain all the time, rather mostly I am in quite good shape ( though i looked like a criminal when I checked myself (unsaved me) on mirror after almost a week). Once I was going to see the doctor the moment I went outside and saw different fast food shops outside It felt like every fucking dish is super delicious and wished for almost all of them. The smell of omlet drove me crazy ! My mouth watered at the view of pani puri. I loved the smell of vel puri. Believe me I am not a big fan of vel puri or pani puri .. honestly I hate vel puri of mumbai. though I like the preparation in kolkata. But now I can not have any of those foods at least for next month or so. I was known as carnivorous in my group and now I am living a saint's life. recently the doctor told i can have chicken or fish if prepared without any spices ...thanks to mom I have started to taste bit of non veg food.
now I am just hoping to get better as soon as possible and I promise to everyone I won't skip my breakfast ever in my life and I would definitely control my diet.
Have you ever been in a situation when you are outright angry ..frustrated upset .. (can keep on adding all such adjectives yet won't be able to describe how I feel) but you can 't do anything about it ..apart from feeling miserable .. I hate the word looser ..sometimes I think I am a freaking looser.. and what loosers do when they are pissed off they vent their anger in inappropriate place ..frankly I have no place to dispose my anger and none close to me can really sooth me ...and the person who can does not give a fuck !
Honestly I hate everyone ! I hate every fucking thing ! just remembered few lines from alice in the chains..
I'm the man in the box Buried in my shit Wont you come and save me, save me
fuck the last line ..I love being burried in my own shit .. if you can, pour some crappy shitty drink on my lips ..suffocate me with smoke ! I feel like smoking now ..and stupid me ..I gave away the two cigs I bought for getting change to my colleague this morning..
Sometimes I am really thankful to David Gilmour for singing Coming back to life ..I guess it's the only song that can soothe me partially ..just like jerking off yourself and satisfying your dick with fake pleasure ...
Funny part about me ..I can not describe nicely how I want anything ..rather what I can do is to describe how frustrated, fucked up I am if i don't get it ..so people get pissed off me ..anyway even if I try to describe nicely that's not going to help me anyway ..so what the fuck !
Mamma I am coming home!! ..bullshit I don't even feel like going home nowadays. If I be totally honest then the only thing I still want and get whenever I want is booze ..
I hate my life sometimes , directionless ..if anybody ask me what will make me happy ..I guess I won't be able to answer .. have you ever listened to "Coming into Los Angeles" this song sucks like hell ...I don't know how it ended up in my playlist ..
Crazy frog ..lol not me ..it was the next song in my playlist .. I am already quite happy and feeling like deleting what I have written till now ..
So dear reader if you were worried about me ..chill I am fine ..sometimes I get hyper ..pissed off and then gradually I calm down ..and feel gay(lighthearted :D ) ..
anyway if I upset your mood ..then see the video below - thanks to abheera ..you will surely feel good ..
There are moments in your life when you don't want to convince anyone anything !! Because it does not help. It's just like first day at swimming ..you kick in the water move your hand in different manner but after 5 mins you are more or less just at the same position .. There are people who don't want to understand you ..don't want to see beyond certain things ..certain thoughts ..even if those thoughts aren't right ..and there are also who those who refuse to understand themselves their inner voice ..keep themselves stuck at same logic ..and but you still try to convince them ..and then oneday you decide to stop doing that ..and the next moment you know you didn't mean to take that decision ..but then you can not go back ..because you know they won't allow it anymore ..then you start convincing yourself .."chod na yaar" ..and but you can not ..you just feel .."at least there was little happiness .now that's also gone" .. somebody said once if you try properly you can achieve anything ..it does not happen yaar ..how much more should one try ..I want to sleep ...I don't care if I have nightmares ..but i just want to sleep ..
I am writing after long time. I have noticed even though i enjoy writing it's generally my last priority. May be I am too lazy or may be I am too much engaged in different stuffs. I also observed i don't write when I am overall happy and it might be surprising I can remain more or less happy all day without being upset or sad. But there are also times when i am mostly upset with few sudden burst of happiness or sadness. I usually write in those times. Considering overall happiness is way better than overall sadness with patches of euphoria, i guess my well wishers would prefer the period when i am not writing.
I agreed to something yesterday even though I was sure it was not right ..it was not right for me not for anyone ..but someone thought that's the right thing so I agreed doing it. my soul was pleading me ..then started abusing me ..telling not to do that mistake again ..but instead of listening to it I agreed because i can not say no to that person and I can not turn down any request that person makes.. So my reply to my soul was ..shut the fuck up!
I sometime wonder why ? why the fuck I can not just snatch what is mine ! I make people's life easy - people whom I hate like crazy, people who devastated my life, people who has taken advantage of my problems , people who has always made my life difficult ...
My life is now like that monkey trying to climb up a oily pole ..it climbs 3 steps one by one and then slide down 3 steps in one go.
Have you ever wondered how strange is human heart/mind( I don't belong to those who believes these two are different )... sometimes very little things .. can cheer it up..May be that little thing ..was there by chance ..but still our heart embrace that and smile with joy as if that little change or thing was meant to make it happy.. You might say one should learn to control his heart so that it does not find happiness in illusions.. but who cares ..in our life percentage of happiness is not plenty ..so if something makes you happy ..just be happy ..don't try to know if it's temporary or permanent .. I was tried of late night flight ..one hour delayed ..thanks to Mumbai congestion ..and I was just about to close my browser and by chance I landed on some page ..and I was happy and so writing again after long time ..anyway though I am mentally quite refreshed but physically just drained ..so need a sleep ..
edit: didn't I say happiness is temporary ..and I am not happy anymore .good night ..
I was waiting for a train to arrive, not sure about whether it would come or not. Once I used to think it will always come no matter what! then after certain period of time I began to think it might not come at all. I was not sure whether I was waiting for it or not, I was not sure if I would board it or not. But may be somehow I was there at the station. And then there was that sharp light almost on time or rather before time announcing it's arrival. Quite soon I realized it was only the engine.. it came slowed down at the station ..or may be It was my imagination ..then it left. I touched it before it was gone. I don't know if it was correct thing to do. Next day at the same time quite unexpectedly it arrived again..should I say unexpectedly? ..I don't know ..but this time just not the engine but also the body the tail ..the whole train. It stopped for a while. and within seconds it was time for departure. I don't know whether I wanted to stop the train for longer. May be I did may be not. But somehow I sensed even if I pull the chain I won't be fined today. But ultimately I didn't do anything and stood there wondering about the day when I will board the return train. I have long time to think.. return train is after 6 months.
Bewakoof aur chutiya mein dhaage barabar ka farak hota hai. Dhage ke henge bewakoof aur hunge, chutiya. Dhaga khench lo to kaun hai bewakoof kaun hai chutiya, carore rupiye ka prashan hai bhaiya.
(A thin line (or thread) separates the fool from the dumbass. On one end of the line lies the fool and on the other, the dumbass. Upon snapping the line it's a million dollar question as to who's the fool and who's the dumbass, brother.*)
I don't know but thin line always reminds me of this dialog from Omkara. I often wonder how do we define straight or gay. Is it simple black and white, Are we all either gay or straight. I thought of writing about this before, but restrained myself. Trust me first time in my life I am trying to think what is the reason behind having such variety of orientation. One thing for sure it's not just another invention of some psychotic western guy who is bored of normal life and trying do something different. It might sound lame but I used think this as the reason as I found it really strange how any guy can find an elastic rod more interesting than beautiful geography of hills, valleys, lake and grand canyon. But homosexuality was back there even in ancient Greece. Alexander the great himself was gay. So there is only one simple conclusion, no one is born with any orientation . orientation is very much related to someone's comfort level. It's not just some warrior enjoy pointing or putting his gun on some fellow/opponent warrior's back. If that's the case then I really doubt if you should call that warrior as gay. He is another guy deprived of or scared of pointing his gun from front. Given the opportunity I am sure he would even love to fire the gun at front heaven. Now it might always happen if someone is habituated to fire at the back, it can back fire and change his orientation. I am really reluctant to call such persons gay. I mentioned about comfort level. If I take the example of those ancient Greek warriors who are fighting years after years, they are used to get comfort from each other's company live and fight for each other. They find more pleasure and comfort in each other's arm than in any slave girl's intimacy. And as sex is directly related to comfort, years of togetherness in battle field can definitely change someone's orientation.
But at the same time there are some not so natural reason for homosexuality. The whole 'taboo' associated with it sometime drives people to try something different or something prohibited. and then comes dilemma, guilty feeling, orientation check blah blah !!Sometimes these are just transient and sometimes depending upon the fragileness of that person the impact can be huge.
I guess some of you are pissed of me for only discussing about homosexuality of men. Well may be the number of lesbians out there are more but I must say most of the girls you have seen in so called lesbian porn are not really lesbians. It's just that women are more shameless with or in front of each other than men. Reason for homosexuality of women can be both their tender as well as dominant nature. how so ? I hope you have already figured out the answer or wait for my updates after few days.
Anyway while writing today I wanted to talk how knowing about something called homosexuality has changed the way we behave talk or perceive things.
Back during my school days when I didn't have much idea about all these sexual orientation It seemed perfectly alright to hug a male friend. And now I don't really remember when is the last time I actually hugged or saw any of friends hugging each other. If anyone ever tells his friend he loves him he would most probably add the suffix "in a heterosexual way". A friend of mine recently moved from Mumbai to Bangalore and I was feeling bit bad thinking I will be bored on the weekends. But then I thought may be I should not say that.. it might sound bit gay. There was another funny incident few months back me and my roomie went to some Latino dance class. For practice at home unfortunately we didn't have any helping female neighbor so we decided to be each other partner, but we consciously made an effort that nobody finds us doing that.
declaimer: This posts is intended for those vegetarians who considers themselves better human being than us. I have no objections against vegetarians who do not question our(non-veggies) empathy towards animates.
If you ask any vegetarians to define foods which can be considered as veg, you will find a wide variety of answers - while some consider onion as non-veg, some will argue eggs as veg. I shall ask a simple question. Do you think killing an embryo is less cruel than killing a full grown human being ? Some would say killing an embryo is even more disgusting, you are killing a innocent life without giving it a chance to flourish. Besides you are also depriving the mother from her baby love. So all eggeterians who loves lecturing us about killing life remember you are no better. I know some of you have already started to protest the eggs you consume are infertile. You make me laugh!! do you think it's ok to eat some infertile embryo or dead baby ?? so keep your voice down and stop arguing.
Well so called pure vegetarians has no reason to rejoice. When you are having that milk shake or paneer tikka masala ..don't forget cows don't really produce milk for your consumption. It's for her child. You are making that poor cow a lactating slut and depriving the calf from it's birth right. Just that I don't want you to die starving I haven't started about the lives of plants.
Next time you want to give us, non-vegetarians some lecture remember you are no better. Any biology book will tell you human beings are omnivorous. So we are just being humans :) Ref: humans are omnivorous ( article from vegetarian resource group :D )
I don't know why ..but I am upset ..I am terribly upset. I don't know whether I am upset of myself whether I am upset my flat mates or the movie I was just watching ..the whole day was quite nice ..unlike many other days ..when the moment I leave my office ..and walk back home ..I feel like ok I am going to be depressed today ..and I keep on telling myself no you won't ..you will be just fine ..you have lots of things to do ..you will watch movie ..read on your favorite topic ..how to be more and more rich !! But someday it does not work !! but today was different I was feeling perfectly fine ..I even cooked my food ..now just before sleeping somehow I am extremely upset.. Anyway good part is I am going to sleep now ..so thankfully I won't be depressed ..people have this notion about drinking that you do that to live in sadness ..the so called devdas theory ..But drinking is really good ...helping .. at least If I had some beer ..I might have felt better now ..tomorrow the first thing I am gonna do is to stock beer in my fridge..
I have asked myself this question several times. What we remember most? Some friends told me we tend to remember the joyful memories and forget those ones which are not so good. I don't know may be it's true I tried to verify it a lot but somehow I felt I remember those memories which are not so good but somehow touched me. anyway i am not going to start with memory again. An insignificant(is it?) memory - when i was a kid, once i went to my cousin-brother's marriage. After coming back home i told my sister the bride was not so beautiful. My sis actually came quite strongly against this comment. She said so what! if everyone starts looking for external beauty what about those girls who are not so beautiful but nice at heart. Though I was kid then and my sis was also quite small at that time, that comment touched me a lot! I heard people saying as you get matured after certain age you don't look for physical beauty. But I really think it's not so true. I think when we are kids we are less conscious about the beauty about our potential :) girlfriends. Till you get married, the more you grow up specially after college you are more conscious about physical beauty about your tobe partner. I have friends, very decent, but even they sometime are in dilemma like "if others would find her beautiful". I am not blaming anyone here, or should I say I don't have the right to blame anyone, coz may be one part of me think like them. By the way whatever I am writing is strictly male point of view, I think girls are lot better than us in this regard. Isn't it really sad, unfortunate for a girl who is really romantic in heart, sweet and adventurous etc etc to get married to some extremely boring person, just because she is not beautiful. (Well in India even so called beautiful and witty girls also get married to undeserving persons and compromise for rest of their lives! long live arrange marriage. anyway that's a different discussion) I think beauty is no(should not be) criteria for love, at best it's like a good perfume which attracts you.Like the fragrance of perfume beauty is also transient. I really doubt if beauty has ever acted as a binding force for a couple. It's the inner beauty that binds everything. may be you have heard the same comment lots of time before but it's true. You might find some girl not so beautiful when you first see her, but after sometime when she has become a good friend of yours, you will find her quite decent looking. How much of these opinions I follow in my life? I can't say ..sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. ..you might call me hypocrite. I shall put the blame on my sun sign (pisces) and feel happy ! good night !
claimer: All characters appearing in this blog are real and any resemblance to anyone living or dead, is purely intentional.
It was Friday evening, so far the coolest evening. Me (Harry) , Chipak, Orange, Ricky, Nash and Sampy all heading towards my place for our weekend party. Let me give a bit detail how these name came ..well It all started when i tried to order pizza from dominos ..and it seemed to me they have an extra H at the beginning of my name in their record ..I tried to correct that but instead as a side effect everyone started to add an extra H to my name.. within few moments like a chain reaction everyone's name was modified .. Ricky got called as Mr. Manager ..Sampy and Nash got a H like me .. Some different name came to my mind for orange ..I am not mentioning it !!
Anyway it started with brief in'door' cricket match with some strange rules. If you hit any furniture, any wall directly you are out. Apart from normal catch we also had caught after one bounce... you can guess how tricky it can get to last even one over. But soon dumb C with booze seemed more interesting game .. and it turned out to be a lot funnier than cricket. I shall start with Shri 420. Sampy declared u can't show number in Dumb C ..which clearly gave the hint the movie got some number in it's name. Orange was trying her best to give the hints ..After few minutes of unsuccessful trying suddenly Chipak said "well it can't have numbers for sure ..sampy already declared that" !!! orange was like what the f*** !! Immediately Chipak realized his mistake and guessed the movie correctly .. Another movie was Pelican Brief .. Nash was supposed to be the actor .. now in spite of having simplest second half ..he concentrated on hinting 1st half..no points for guessing why he did that ..finally after some failed attempt ..he finally decided to move on to second part .. and placed his hand just bit bellow his belt ..wild guesses started to fly around .. 'waist' , 'belt' , 'underpants', 'panty' ...and finally 'brief' .. but unfortunately the opposition could not remember the movie .. or the bird pelican ..so it remained unsolved .. one clue was for Forest Gump .. it was Chipak's turn to give the clues ... He started to make different animal noise to depict forest ..and apparently turned Dumb C into screaming C . .. next hint was for Appclypto ..Sampy successfully built his clues for lip and toe .. making liptoe ..Realizing the movie was appoclypto ..I forgot the name of the movie in excitement and shouted adolypto or something similar.. Ricky came for our rescue .. there were many other movies like Mackenna's Gold,chokher bali, the poseidon adventure, frida, aradhana, gajgamini, zodiac etc... the last one as far as I remember was One flew over cuckoo's nest .. Nash actually haven't seen or known the movie ..and he was supposed to guess .. after guessing names of series of birds ..starting from sparrow, parrot etc ..finally he landed at cuckoo. now the tricky part was constructing 'over' .. orange tried to make an oval .. my toad alter ego took over me ..and I started to jump to depict over .. When none of these worked cricket came to the rescue and after 6 balls ..'over' was complete
In between there were few incidents like ..somebody forgetting to zeep up after using the toilet .. everyone calling Ricky as Mr. manager .. Nash drinking old monk on flames ..orange almost hearing me saying something started with K .. which was interpreted as lots of different K words.. (I must say nobody actually guessed it correctly)
ultimately it was huge fun !! wish we can do that more often !
It's 4:30 in th morning and I still can't sleep. My mind is overwhelmed with so many words thoughts ..I felt I can't sleep unless I write down some of them. Whenever I think about mind I just get so much amazed, may be mind is the most ingenious creation of God (atheists please find your own suitable term). I am thinking aloud now!! have you ever tried controlling your mind I mean making it think whatever you want it to think. try doing that and I can assure you will be thinking 10 different things but not the intended one. But does that mean you can't think what you want ! of course you can ..but just don't try too hard, Mr. mind is a free soul if you try to dictate it won't give a damn .. now there is a paradox here. when I am saying 'you' control mind ..can u tell me what is represented by 'you'. isn't it the same mind? please don't say 'you' is heart..I think heart is nothing but an instrument that keeps animals(including human beings) alive by circulating blood. Talking about paradox made me think something else ..am really writing this blog or is this just a dream, or a dream inside a dream ..and so on ! frankly I have no way to prove that.I already said I am thinking aloud so pardon me if you find this post absolutely out of order. Long time back I have discovered I have two contradicting personalities inside me ..the asshole me and the emotional me .. and usually both of them are present at the same time.. let me give you one example .. I still sometimes find it quite amusing to read the crap people usually put down in their about me in orkut ..unless it is an one page essay with ascii flowers or trees . The most hilarious ones are those with lots of keywords like 'mah' 'da' 'attitude' 'cool' 'rock' etc. this was the asshole me ! now i don't know why at the same time my emotional me pop up and try to see what that guy or girl has written in his 'from my past relationships i learned' . Usually it's mostly lots of ...chucha chucha ..( courtesy Ajay Devgan - Sunday) ..the one I liked till now was ' I can be better'.. After reading so many different scraps/posts sometimes I think I can write a research paper on attention seeking first scraps. But it is definitely not the time for that ..it's already 5 and I need to crash ..
Friday night..started with RAMBO 4 ... Saturday morning again RAMBO 4, yes the movie was good but I am no die hard fan of Stallone ..it was just becoz I could not say no to one of my friends.. anyway rest of Saturday was no good ..I was out with my friend and his dutch colleague to help them in shopping. I don't know how others feel, but for me it totally sucks to move from one shop to another and then one mall to another ..when you are not buying anything and also not making any comment on what to buy ..though it was good chick seeing but I was finding it hard to prevent myself cursing my friend. Sunday morning looked good though bit cold..I went out to watch Reservation Road ..I used to think girls are generally more sophisticated than guys. I remember in an interview Sophie Loren was asked by an interviewer "We always wonder you are so much sophisticated ..do you ever fart!" anyway while going for the movie I saw this chick who dressed and looked quite sophisticated, scratching her ass with her hand in her jeans !! com'on even we guys don't do that !! anyway watched the movie .. and of course once again some huge guy was beside me!! though I really wonder would it have made any difference if it was some good looking chick! I guess you already sensed I am drunk again.. movie was good I was walking back home.. and there were atleast 5 or 6 dogs fighting with each other on the road. As usual my heart stopped ..I took out my cell to pretend I am not bothered and dialed some random no .." This number does not exist .please ..." fuck you I know that already ..anyway I crossed past those dogs and felt relieved. End of one more boring weekend! After long time I am going to listen Enigma today ..
I really don't understand why do we consider black as a color for evil and white for good .. during my school days I had a teacher who was strictly against black dress .personally i like both the colors quite a lot ..may be black a bit more.. though I pefer to see few persons in white more. Generally black means darkness and white is brightness..but don't you like darkness sometimes..when I was a kid i used to love when there was a power cut..that was my chance to stop studying and lie down ..even though it never lasted long ...coz mom would bring emergency light within 5 mins ..when I was in hostel darkness was the time when you can practice slangs against your opponent hostel or strict administrators ..and even now darkness means I can be completely isolated ..no disturbance ..no distraction ..just only me ..I recently realized I lost the keys of my home ..and the room is locked ..i don't remember if I locked it or someone else ..I don't remember if it was dark at the time or sunny bright .. does not matter ...darkness is soothing ..it touches you very intimately ..I was falling ...from where ..don't know..as I was falling I was trying to decide what I want to be .. a bird ..I always wanted to be a bird ..and fly home ...but alas i have lost the keys .. i need to think something else ..I wanna be your underwear ..oh no not me ..I was thinking about this song by Brayn Adams ...so much of thinking while falling was making me want to pee.. now I am stuck in typical Hamletian dilemma to pee or not to pee .
I sometime wonder if there is any person who does not like music, of course everyone's music taste is not equal. During my graduation I did some course on cognition and human memory. Today I was listening to some old music and was thinking about those days in college. We did several projects about how memory works and how it is related to visual cues etc. Recently I realized how music can be related to our memories and can act as a strong queue to make them alive again. Whenever I listen to Kambakth Ishq from pyar tune kya kiya ..it reminds me of those good old first 15 days of first year. I don't know.. it just creates the same feeling we used to have when we went to auditorium to watch movies, always alert about seniors ..if by any chance any new senior get hold of us he would start embarrassing us..asking us to sing ( I got spared most of the time ..as it was always hard for the seniors to tolerate more than one minute demonstration of my singing talent) or dance in front of everyone or shout some slangs standing on your seat or sometimes on the podium. there are other instances ..like the moment I listen to Woh Lamhe Woh Baatein..it reminds me of my internship days ..sleeping at the beach till 2 or 3 am ..boozing ..or peeing on the ocean ( Varun and me will never forget this)..or those long calls on phone .. and somehow it takes me to those moments and make me smile .. Funny part is songs not only get associated with few nice memories but also some not so nice ones.. like the song bheegi bheegi si hai raaten bheegi bheegi...no matter how many time I listen it takes me to the same day ..
The primary reason of course you will get in touch with lots of bitches. Dog dad is not really bothered about whether his baby is a dog or a bitch. So sex ration is still quite good. If anytime you are feeling bit intoxicated you don't need to take any artificial route. Just get hold of the nearest bitch. And the bonus is all these you can do without getting aids. Though I can't guarantee that. I am sure no dog is horny ,frustrated, deprived and sex starved enough to 'make love' with any monkey( the original bearer of HIV) yet but I am not sure about our horny human race. So bitches and dogs beware of ur 'rational' human owners.
Recent news says sexual outlook for dogs is not as colorful as it was before. If you want to believe my friend who claims he has seen a dog to masturbate, seems the competition is getting tougher in dog community too. In a country like us where we still have the obsession of male child, very soon dogs might need to compete with their human owner too. If you think it's just my imagination you may want to look here.
But don't feel disheartened still situation is not out of control as it was in Mumbai recently. Till now no bitch has been surrounded by 80 sex-startved dogs.
I have discussed this with lots of my friends. what makes love immortal. If you go by famous authors they will tell you tragedy. According to them love lasts for a very brief period of time. One week , One month, maximum one year. After that it's completely different story. They say if love ends up being together forever(I really don't think this word can have a usage where it's meaning is justified!! well you can always use this one - "nothing lasts forever" ) it's soon goes extinct. And they really have strong logic. Think about all so called eternal love stories - from Romeo Juliet to our very own Krishna Radha they all have tragic ending. We remember them because they make us think what if or how this can be different!! frankly speaking that's why making a superhit tragic movie is lot easier because tragedy lingers on. When I was in +2 after reading too much of tragic novels I was so attracted towards tragic ending I even at some point of time thought if I love someone a lot she should leave me so that my love for her never ever goes away. But biggest tragedy is none of these authors actually mentioned the after effects of that or may be I didn't gave much importance to those after effects when I read them.
If you are wondering why I am suddenly talking so much about love well I just watched 'The notebook'. If you like romantic movies I would suggest go see this one. I am adding few quotes from this movie ... just to read them again in future ----------- Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch. Young Noah: Would you just stay with me? Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin' Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. Young Allie: So what? Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
--------
Young Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah
PS: the quotes are not related to my personal opinion or feeling, they sounded nice in the movie.
I thought I would never write a movie review. Though I am not trying to write one. I just want to say I simply loved the movie. It remined me so many sweet memories of my childhood. The songs are above any desciption. Specially the number 'Maa' . After long time some movie really touched the core of my heart.
no brothers i am not big fan of whisky ..I might puke now if take any more peg ..but trust me I like the drunk me more than the normal me ..the diplomatic me ..who cares for so many things ..who cares what other gonna think about him ..whether if anyone gonna get hurt ..but this anindya knows what he wants ..and does not feel ashamed of that ..he does not feel ashamed to be a broken shit ...it's ok for him coz that's natural ..he don't need to pretend to everyone that he is stud ,,,he does not care of any shit ..he is good he is awesome ..this anindya is full of shit and he is porud of that ..what he has achieved by being a perfect man..nothing ..but some shithole ...and sadly those assholes are so much jam that he can't even use them .. but that's ok..isn't that's what he wanted in life to loose the precious gift of his life somehow ..so that ..the gift can live forevr through his incompleteness ..but shit now he know it sucks !! but what the fuck u can't get all ..u got eternity .that's a huge deal now u can't say u wanted something else .. shit my head is spinning ..lemme take some rest ..i can hear some guy is trying to sing kho gaya he tujhpe pyar sajna ina feminine voice ..and frankly he is sounding like a shemale ..but u gotta be diplomatic and priase him ..what the hell u will do that ..who cares honesty ..brb...
i am back ..and that reminds me somebody used to say wb >:D<> i am back ..that's gone ..nothing lasts forever ..whose song is that ..i guess a mere child have better memory than me at this moment . there was a bong song ..sei raat rong chilo purnima .....chilo purnima batase ..shit i am fucking the lyrics ..but what the hell .. i guess the lyricist is long dead ..and he does not give a damn ..he might be too busy writing songs for indra dev ( yes i am hindu..oh yea Indian too) ...and might be rubbing his 3rd leg as he enjoys indra's dance festival .. .so moral of the story who cares if any asshole from earth is puking shit on Google blogspot !! may be someday someone will report my blog as bogus .and google will be in dilemma ..what they are supposed to do ..ok if fortunately if there is some geek in google ..i should consider putting some pic of a horny bitch in this blog ..so he might feel let's keep this blog .. it will be useful in future ..
ok enough !! you are right I will listen to you and go to sleep now ..good night ..
Hello Mr prime minister you are one of those persons I really respect apart from my parents .. you once said you want to make India world's knowledge hub ..but problem is how you are trying to achieve that ..you are talking about creating more engineering college ..but give it a pause and think about it ..is that going to help u to reach ur goal ..u r creating a bunch of mechanical talent .. it's true India has lots of talent but only studying engineering is gonna make them dull and methodical ..u gotta encourage them in basic sciences ..that will increase the innovation ..not just learning to code in c++ or java .. you can learn java or c++ in 2 months even if you are super dumb ,...but basics of physics maths you cant .. so please encourage them in basic sciences encourage them to learn cream of science not some applied shit .!! don't encourage efficient robots ..make smart students ..who can rock in any field coz they have their fundamentals strong !! .. but if u see fact is India's good students are going for engineering none going for pure science ..u can have good job by that but how long ..we just going to be labour for developed countries ...loosing our Independence once again ..normal people can't see that ..coz it gives them money and for me yes it gives me money ..it gives me money to buy logan to buy civic ..but how long ..how we are different and how long we can have this edge over other developing countries if we don't make our base strong !! we are in our glory days ..it's the right time we utilize it to the right direction and make it a real knowledge hub not just a KPO or BPO .. you are an able man ..and I have full trust on you ..I know you might never read this article ..but hope someday u feel the same as mine ..u r from pure science economics ...best of luck !! I love my country .. I am drunk today pardon my grammar or spelling but please do consider my intent ..
One Sunday morning I was thinking what should I have for lunch today.. difficult question! I have eggs but com'on eggs can be kept in fridge ...you can have it anytime you want !! Let's have something more interesting !! what about pizza .. The good or bad thing about pizza is you eat it hot ....the hot cheese !! yummy !! you can't just keep it in fridge ..
Next Sunday ..again dilemma eggs or MacD ...com'on forget eggs ..put that in fridge ..it will remain good..
Next to next Sunday.. Now I am not left with much cash ..okkk .let's try eggs today.. Oh shit !! how come those eggs are rotten !! aren't they supposed to be fresh for months !!
I guess that's worst fable written in human history :D
lately I am listening to Dire straits a lot .. fortunately i found a windows media player plugin which has can display lyrics for almost every songs ..even bollywood songs. Among different singers i have listened ..Dire straits' music seems to have quite long lyrics ..and I found them really awesome ..
I am quoting a part of "Romeo and Juliet" lyrics ... will add new interesting lyrics later..
When you can fall for chains of silver, You can fall for chains of gold, You can fall for pretty strangers, And the promises they hold. You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah! Now you just say, "Oh Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him".
if you observed in most bollywood movie ..heroine's current decent bf is converted to a evil personality just to accommodate and justify ..hero's entry ..can't it be that they keep the poor old bf as he was before ..i like dil to pagalhai for this reason. If you remember Lakshya they simply change the open minded bf to complete male chauvinist just to justify preetyZinta's dumping him and go ahead with hritwik. Now it's completely perfect for preety to feel for his old bf and get back to him but why can't that be done without making the temporary bf evil ? it's always a trend to portray one character as complete and the other black, whereas we are mostly gray. A friend of mine told me otherwise Indianaudience won't like that movie. Is it like that ? or we have groomed Indianaudience to like black and white movies compared to gray ones.
I need to go take a shower now, will continue this one later ..for sure ..
i don't remember how many times i have listened to this song.. and today I realized all these times i thought ..it said ..'all that glitters isn't gold' where it is actually ..'all that glitters is gold' .. I was in class 11 or 12 don't remember .. i read this novel by Tilottoma Mazumder .."dal chut" .. I hope i remember the name properly .. this story has a girl .. Manasi ..i don't know why ..but i liked that character .. fyi manasi means whom u build in your mind .. it's not like building a castle of sand on the beach .. it's more like building something in your dream..and u have total control whether u want to protect that dream or not ..was there any reason for me explain all these ...it is not even a proper explanation .. anyway the thing about Manasi that attracted me ..that she was bit eccentric ..and she used to have this phase of depression ..and she used to shut herself out from everyone during that time ..and she knew apriori when depression was coming to her ...that really was bit strange for me .. first of all how can be depression be a regular event .. u r feeling good one day and the next day u start to feel depressed without much reason.. as a +2 student i really didn't understood it properly ..as i think about the story now i realize .. anyway I won't promote tilottoma M anymore now ..actually I found her next novel quite distasteful .. but for readers if u r looking for bit 'purki' u might actually like it ..she actually focused on incest stuff... anyway you can guess I forgot what i planned to write ..so i am just littering .. Recently I read interpretation of murder and today I am feeling pain on my arms/shoulder.. first right and then on left .. now I guess you are wondering how the hell these two are related .. okie in that story the author explains a case of psychoanalysis, it's was like ..one day in the morning the girl(patient) realized her left hand got paralyzed .. she can't move it .. according to the docs her hands are perfectly alright but still she can't move her left hand ..and after psychoanalysis it was revealed the girl was suffering from some guilty feeling (read the story if u want to know what guilty feeling)..and she forgot why she was feeling guilty ..the moment she remembered that and the doc convinced her there was nothing to be feel guilty of, she was able to move her hand again .. pardon me Jed Rubenfeld ..I told your story in such a dull manner ..now coming to my shoulder pain ..i realized i haven't done any physical work whole day ..then why i am having pain then ?? so i tried to analyze myself .. it was my right hand .. but I could not remember anything i have done with right hand that would make me feel guilty .. then I realized i actually jerk off using my right hand ..but if that's the source of my hidden guilty feeling I would have had this pain long time before .. so this can't be the cause ..then i realized I tried grass today .. and while smoking i was holding that with my right hand ( natural ..no surprise here !! ) and I was not at all thrilled to do it ....and if i remember properly i had same pain last time also ..though that day i thought it's due to that bullshit written test.. seems I have to be careful from now ...or may be I need to give my imagination a rest .. LOL!! I am feeling sleepy .. but don't want to lie down ..ohh shit i just realized i haven't changed my vest for last almost 2.5 days ..good night guys i need to go and change now ..
Recently I got a new friend. and we are discussing about our 'talents'. And I actually remembered i used to sketch when i was a kid .. so i told her i can draw.. well i didn't know she sketches and paints at least 20 times better than me. I am attaching two versions of her drawing in yahoo ..
old b/w bollywood version
And then 2007 bang reloaded ...
For my old friends .. no she didn't know my nickname !!
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
When i began to learn guitar .. this is one of the first songs I tried .I don't know how this song came to mind at this moment .. my mind is now really moving haphazardly ..that reminds me of some question asked to Yudhistir in mahabharata ..what is the fastest element in the universe ..of course Yudhistir answered it correctly ..Mind ..now about the song ..it reminds me of a Iranian guy Yaser. he introduced me this song. we were never very good friends nothing in common but our taste of songs ...I know my mind is now going to complete different direction, totally diverted from the direction i started with ..did it ever happen to you ..like at 3 am at night(?) when you are supposed to sleep..you know you gotta sleep...you have to go to office tomorrow ..but u still can't make yourself close your eyes ..you don't know why ..may be waiting for something .. but then don't at all try to find that out ..cause you are scared that you may be waiting for something you should not wait..you must not wait .. you try to do the stupid most thing ..you try to stop thinking ...but damn that's not possible ..mind is like that bubble of mercury .. have you ever tried to hold a mercury in your hand ..you just can't it moves around ..or may be a handful of dry sand .. the more you try to hold it tight the more you loose ..I don't believe in ghosts though i believe in god .. but what really is ghost ?? something that you can't see ..something that you can feel ..is it scary ..now that depends .. that reminds me a funny incident ..will tell you some other day .. though i don't believe in ghosts somehow I think I am living with ghosts ..coz I am scared of giving any identity to my feelings..I am reluctant to give it any shape ..any known shape .. so I am kind of living with ghosts .. i guess this will be another entry to my list of incomplete posts ..
How do you feel when you come to know the most precious person in your life has shown you affection just to get rid of a guilty feeling or just out of pity ..i thought i would start writing again ...but somehow I feel this is my last blog ..
Sometimes I wonder how we got the perception of beauty or perfection ...Who gave us the perception female figure around 36-24-36 is better than 39-30-41 .. or puppy is cuter than a rat ..or srk is more handsome than Johny lever .. or Priyanka Chopra is more beautiful than Mamta Banarjee ..even forget all these ..why do we think we look more beautiful when we are young ...I mean imagine a world where our sense of beauty is totally reverse ..won't it be fun !!! I mean Imgine Karan Johar is making KKHH and Johny Lever is the hero !!! gals dying for Johny Lever .. and In bengal there won't be any political party named TMC .. Mamta Banarjee has moved to mumbai ... and producers lining up outside her mansion .. wallpapers of her.. and Priyanka Chopra leading feminist movement in mumbai ..and ponds has introduced a new cream for early wrinkles .. guys and gals eating like anything so get some extra pounds !!! .. Now I haven't even said anything about how it would be if our perception of fragrance changes ...!!!! well you can use your imagination ..
Recently I have started bullshitting again ..i have started visiting different orkut profiles ...and almost more than 60% chicks and chaks have written in their about me ...I have my own attitude I don't need yours .. or have some pic in album with caption attitude and loads of exclamation after that .. bull crap !!!! If you have attitude why do you need to say that .. people will anyway come to know about it by interacting with you ... do you think Monica Bellucci needs to wear a Tshirt with caption I have boobs !!! lol ..aren't they quite evident ...I was so pissed of myself as soon as rain stopped went outside ..as I walked past by those building known for elite apartments ..I observed something really disgusting .. those asshole residents take their doggy to shit just between the wall and the street ..and those shitholes don't realize may be they have plenty of money so they never need to walk on streets but there are others who do need the street .. and these buggers might be members of keep_the_city_clean clubs ..
Even if you give me the sweetest food ...I will die .. even if give me the softest cushion i will still be able sleep only one more time ..even if it's the most fragrant flower i can't enjoy it's smell for long ..coz i am poisoned .. my lips are getting dry .. my face is turning blue .. my hands are getting paralyzed ... my heart beating is becoming slow ..slower... Even if you sing me the sweetest melody ..alas!! i can't listen it for long ..coz deafness is coming to me .. you bring me favorite desert but I lost my taste ... don't you understand I have venom inside me ... nothing can revive me now .. all this thing will only make me wish to live more ...which I can't ..
Why people cease to be the person he/she used to be .. I am just so much frustrated today .. you make someone feel so much wanted ..you make them crazy for you ..u make them drench in the shower of love .. you make them feel they can't live without you ..and then suddenly you act totally opposite .. The person you loved the most ..cries in heart in deep pain .. fights with her own soul .. and keep on dreaming that you will realize what you are doing to him/her ..and hold her like you used to do .. show the care for her ..that took her breath away once .. and you ..whom she can't even think of disliking ..whom she can't even blame .. coz you are so deeply enrooted inside her ..blaming you or disliking you means disliking her own soul.. please make me understand..why so ??????? why you can't just be the same person you were .. how can you ..not listen the cry from her inner soul...how can you not see even her anger is also full of love for you ..you know what ..you should do .. you should bent before her ..and apologize for all you have done ..and love her more than she can ever imagine .. heal her coz you have hurt her so very much .. make her smile like angel again .. don't you think that one such smile .. is worth doing anything for her ..
Optimism is the most adherent element in the universe I guess. If it's with you once it just does not leave you no matter what ..!! Even you see the worst thing happening but it makes you forces you to see the brighter sight .. When things go too bad it makes u feel it's happening to make you strong ..a more matured person .. When the sail gets hard it holds your hand ..and gives you the dream of the brighter coast ahead .. If sometimes the coast turns out to be just an mirage ur imagination . it recreates your dream ..regenerates your broken dreams ...puts all the pieces together ..may be so that it can break again ..and it can recreate like an brilliant architect .. when the scorching heat is burning you ..It gives you the gentle breeze ..the believe .. believe in yourself.. believe in your eternal realization .. And it just never let you give up ...and break down .. uses it's all strength make you stand ..look into the sky ..and move forward ...sometimes you get so disgusted you ask him to leave you alone ..but it still slings to you...you try to kick it out ...but you remains with you like your loyal best buddy .. But It also has it's limitation ..it can make you believe ..but can it remove those pain which all the time pins your heart ?? ..If yes ..why you have stopped smiling ..why have that strange sensation in your belly ..in your heart which you never liked ...
In your entire life you should always use some strategy ...even it is something where u don't want to play the strategic game and be only yourself ..and decide to dump any strategies ..and just move ahead knowing I don't need any trick game here .. becoz there are others out there who are constantly using their ingenious strategies ...to kick your ass .. . But the important strategy is to not to make other feel you are using any strategy .. and if you can do that ..then u r game buddy ... Now let's illustrate with an example ..you joined some wild orgy and buzzed off ...fucked bitches ..and holly shitt!!! you forgot ur protection ..now you have aids ..you gonna die .. so what you do ..you just can't die in disgrace ..you gotta make it glorious ..so you use some strategy .. you gonna do something that will give you sure death ( which anyway will come to u soon) but making you remembered loved or whatever feelings u like ..so die while saving someone ..or in army or shits like that and you die as hero ..and if your luck favoured ..they might call for a national mourning ... man!! that's called strategy .. Now you might wondering what about expressing true feelings.. my suggestion keep that to yourself that will help you to revive your self esteem when u r down .. becoz unfortunately most of the persons will use their ingenious strategy and your expressing true feelings would end up you nowhere ..making you loose all the treasures of your life .. so if your priority is to preserve those treasures you gotta control expressing your feelings ..and act strategically .. Now I know there are some who can't do this ...sorry dude ..you gonna have real hard time ..in your life ..
I don't understand how people open their heart in public ...how could someone expose their personal feelings and stand naked among a huge known/unknown crowd. How?? And surprisingly majority of people at some point of other are like that .. Why are people eager to forget the pain .. why just embrace the happiness.. what I am writing ..meaningless scribbling .. why do I have to say the word I don't want to say ...and specially when that always creates a different meaning .. why do I have to ask those questions which do not have a answer ... just to hear something to make myself feel wanted !!! stupid me..
why I try so hard .. why can't I just stop myself doing the same thing again and again when I know it would only increase my despair ... why I keep on hoping ..
I haven't slept at all in days It's been so long since we've talked And I have been here many times I just don't know what I'm doing wrong
What can I do to make you love me What can I do to make you care What can I say to make you feel this What can I do to get you there .......... And who knows I might feel better If I don't try and I don't hope ........... No more waiting, No more aching No more fighting, No more trying
Maybe there's nothing more to say And in a funny way I'm calm Because the power is not mine I'm just gonna let it fly
I am too tired ..too tired to always standing on the rope ..and keep on bending myself differently ..in different direction to keep standing ..I am aching now ..
Don't you think It happens sometimes that ..someday you wake up in the morning and you feel this is not your day .. You don't understand why u r feeling low ..but still u can't help it .. The same thing happened with Anindya. It was a public holiday .. which one ..I don't remember you can choose one of your own fav public holiday ..let's hear it from him ..
2:30 pm ..oh shitt what happened last night ..why I am sleeping till 2:30!!!! I reluctantly dragged myself to the toilet ..and looked into the mirror.. u look like a trash man anyway who cares .. really!!! what about Titas ... but where is she .. I think she said something in the morning and then left .... can't concentrate ..I just can't concentrate .. ok one smoke with pink floyd would would definitely going to help ..10 mins gone ..still feeling low ..another cigarette ..no ...that's not helping either ...ok I got it ..the volume is so damn low .. oh com'on any damn fucker care to increase the volume ..increase the bass asshole .. that's it ..now it's great .. feels like warm blood flowing so fast ...boiling the skin ..where is my guitar .. oh baby ..com'on i missed u .. shut up pink.. only nirvana rules ...... Rape me Rape me, my friend Rape me Rape me, again I'm not the only one.
I need my vodka ..i love it ..darling ..more more ...even more .. I am so thirsty .. give me more ..my lips are so dry ..my tongue taste like warm sand ..pour more ..
Hate me Do it and do it again Waste me Rape me, my friend
ok yeaaaaa ..close all the windows ..all the doors ..let the smoke ..hide me ..hide me inside darkness ..inside the flame ..
I'm not the only one.
ohh yess ..my fingers started to bleed.. the fun begins ..vodka ..vodka ..gimme more ..bloody vodka ..that tastes so damn good .. ohh no I puked ..shit ..u junk ..the whole place stinks ..I stink my fingers stink ..but that can't detach my fingers from the strings of my guitar ..my love .. ohh yesss burn me alive ..
My favorite inside source I'll kiss your open sores Appreciate your concern You'll always stink and bur
Am I loosing my sense who cares ..this is so hot ....so damn hot .. oh drench me with that bloody vodka ..oh yess ..it feels like hot burning oil ...drowning me .. Ohh so much pleasure ...I can't stop laughing ..
Ting tong Ting tong ... who the hell is calling ... Titas ..is it you .. Titas looks into me .. now I remember she said .. but I won't tell u ..what she said .. .. Oh yes Titas my memory is back ..so damn back . I smile at her .. adieu darling .. I don't remember anymore ...
