don't know why ... it does not even matter how hard you try

I don't understand how people open their heart in public ...how could someone expose their personal feelings and stand naked among a huge known/unknown crowd. How?? And surprisingly majority of people at some point of other are like that ..
Why are people eager to forget the pain .. why just embrace the happiness..
what I am writing ..meaningless scribbling .. why do I have to say the word I don't want to say ...and specially when that always creates a different meaning .. why do I have to ask those questions which do not have a answer ... just to hear something to make myself feel wanted !!! stupid me..

why I try so hard .. why can't I just stop myself doing the same thing again and again when I know it would only increase my despair ... why I keep on hoping ..

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
..........
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope
...........
No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly


I am too tired ..too tired to always standing on the rope ..and keep on bending myself differently ..in different direction to keep standing ..I am aching now ..

You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl

will write later ......