Well friends I am physically quite alright..back in mumbai .. cooked chicken myself and believe me chicken without chilly is not that bad ..rather quite good may be I am having chicken after long time so it tested even better ..anyway coming to my hairy story ..( off topic never use a MAC it sucks big time ..and u might have guessed by now I am using my friend's MAC and I feel like throwing it ) anyway sorry for loosing the track a bit ..so there i was cleaning meat before cooking and found something like hair ..of course that's not quite pleasing ..so I began to think why we have hair ..well I understand why we have hair on our head ...but what about other hairy regions ..for example beard .. fuck I hate shaving every 3rd day ( well ideally i should every 2nd day) ..but honestly what's the use ..I have never heard any girls saying oh darling ur rough cheek is so sexy please rub with mine .. yes I can sense some of u protesting ..there is one theory that it makes u look more manly ..honestly do u think so ..give me break ..I don't think it has anything to do to boost one's manliness. U have better organs for that ;) anyway still may be it gives some guys better look ..so may be it has some use ..but what about pubic hair ..well for girls( or should I say ladies) I can think of one reason ..may be it's to protect their soft world ..though If I were God I would have designed something less hairy for protection .. but that's another story ..why the hell guys have hair down there .. I can not imagine any way it can give any protection to our vital organ ..on the contrary if you are little bit less careful while trimming Mr J W Bush u might hurt your Johnson ( some kid used that word in some movie :D) ...so u know I was really curious ..so I went to wikipedia .. unfortunately it could not provide me any valid reason ..but my visit was not as useless as I guessed it would be ..It had a section on style ..lemme give you little bit of the glimpse of the style section .
"The modification of pubic hair can also be considered a statement about one's style or personal lifestyle as can leaving it unmodified. The fashion designer Mary Quant was notably proud that her husband trimmed hers into a heart shape"
There are many more styles .. natural, trimmed, triangle, landing strip, Chaplin mustache, Brazilian waxing, Fauxhawk, Mohawk, The Butch, The Bull ..
so many styles and I was daring to say it was useless.. forgive my fashion sense :P!!!
Anyway moral of the story ... "one love" is a bullshit song.. our bollywood has a better one ..
Kahin zhulf ka badal o ho, Kahin rangili aachal aa haa, Kahin hoat gulabi o ho, Kahin chaal sharabi aa haa, Kahin aankh lagadi o ho, Kahin jism ki khushboo aa haa, Kahin narma nigahe.n o ho, Kahin gori bahe.n aa haa,
Haa yaha.n kadam kadam par lakho.n haseenayen hai, so never listen to one love .. :D
Once I said if I am writing that means things are not fine with me. But all these time I was not in physical pain, but this time I am in great pain and it's 99% physical. I read somewhere if you are in mental pain you also get physically exhausted I don't know how severe is that pain..and how much is that for real and how much is just our "figment of imagination" (remember ratatouille? ). We feel addicted to those mental sadness ..but when the pain is physical and that too for more than couple of weeks and continued ...it is totally fucked up. Those who know me for past few years know that i am super foodie and pure non vegetarian. I don't spend my money on veg food unless it's absolutely good. But now I am totally screwed up ! according to the doctors I have fundus erosive gastritis ( quite an interesting name i guess :D) and good news is i should be fine within a month ( or may be I want to believe that.. optimistic me !) . Now unlike cold or fever in this case I am having severe ( to be precise fucking severe pain!) at least twice a day. today was better though till now ..though recently the duration of pain got reduced! I remember sitting on office lavatory floor coz I could not sit straight. There were nights when I almost felt like crying out loud ...wanted to break everything ..refused to talk to anyone.Things are better ...partially because of the medication and partially I learnt few tricks to control the pain. Wanna know the tricks .. might be useful for you ( though i wish such situation never comes in ur life)
1. Accept the fact you can not fucking do anything about the pain so imagine or think about something good ..some real sweet experience of yours.. I remembered my day in front of Sony world, Bidhannagar and onwards .. remembered evening at Juhu beach and that really helps ..specially when u r having cramps .. 2. imagine/think of some intimate moment with your girlfriend (preferably :P) or equivalent 3. If above two does not apply for you try to remember the last pron you watched .. unfortunately for me i forgot to store any porn in my Brain's hard disc before coming home. But fortunately first two works for me quite well. 3.1 If you are feeling little bit gloomy by now ..little PJ ..don't jerk off while in pain ..it will give you instant relieve for 5 mins but after that you are more fucked !!
Btw I am not in pain all the time, rather mostly I am in quite good shape ( though i looked like a criminal when I checked myself (unsaved me) on mirror after almost a week). Once I was going to see the doctor the moment I went outside and saw different fast food shops outside It felt like every fucking dish is super delicious and wished for almost all of them. The smell of omlet drove me crazy ! My mouth watered at the view of pani puri. I loved the smell of vel puri. Believe me I am not a big fan of vel puri or pani puri .. honestly I hate vel puri of mumbai. though I like the preparation in kolkata. But now I can not have any of those foods at least for next month or so. I was known as carnivorous in my group and now I am living a saint's life. recently the doctor told i can have chicken or fish if prepared without any spices ...thanks to mom I have started to taste bit of non veg food.
now I am just hoping to get better as soon as possible and I promise to everyone I won't skip my breakfast ever in my life and I would definitely control my diet.
Have you ever been in a situation when you are outright angry ..frustrated upset .. (can keep on adding all such adjectives yet won't be able to describe how I feel) but you can 't do anything about it ..apart from feeling miserable .. I hate the word looser ..sometimes I think I am a freaking looser.. and what loosers do when they are pissed off they vent their anger in inappropriate place ..frankly I have no place to dispose my anger and none close to me can really sooth me ...and the person who can does not give a fuck !
Honestly I hate everyone ! I hate every fucking thing ! just remembered few lines from alice in the chains..
I'm the man in the box Buried in my shit Wont you come and save me, save me
fuck the last line ..I love being burried in my own shit .. if you can, pour some crappy shitty drink on my lips ..suffocate me with smoke ! I feel like smoking now ..and stupid me ..I gave away the two cigs I bought for getting change to my colleague this morning..
Sometimes I am really thankful to David Gilmour for singing Coming back to life ..I guess it's the only song that can soothe me partially ..just like jerking off yourself and satisfying your dick with fake pleasure ...
Funny part about me ..I can not describe nicely how I want anything ..rather what I can do is to describe how frustrated, fucked up I am if i don't get it ..so people get pissed off me ..anyway even if I try to describe nicely that's not going to help me anyway ..so what the fuck !
Mamma I am coming home!! ..bullshit I don't even feel like going home nowadays. If I be totally honest then the only thing I still want and get whenever I want is booze ..
I hate my life sometimes , directionless ..if anybody ask me what will make me happy ..I guess I won't be able to answer .. have you ever listened to "Coming into Los Angeles" this song sucks like hell ...I don't know how it ended up in my playlist ..
Crazy frog ..lol not me ..it was the next song in my playlist .. I am already quite happy and feeling like deleting what I have written till now ..
So dear reader if you were worried about me ..chill I am fine ..sometimes I get hyper ..pissed off and then gradually I calm down ..and feel gay(lighthearted :D ) ..
anyway if I upset your mood ..then see the video below - thanks to abheera ..you will surely feel good ..
There are moments in your life when you don't want to convince anyone anything !! Because it does not help. It's just like first day at swimming ..you kick in the water move your hand in different manner but after 5 mins you are more or less just at the same position .. There are people who don't want to understand you ..don't want to see beyond certain things ..certain thoughts ..even if those thoughts aren't right ..and there are also who those who refuse to understand themselves their inner voice ..keep themselves stuck at same logic ..and but you still try to convince them ..and then oneday you decide to stop doing that ..and the next moment you know you didn't mean to take that decision ..but then you can not go back ..because you know they won't allow it anymore ..then you start convincing yourself .."chod na yaar" ..and but you can not ..you just feel .."at least there was little happiness .now that's also gone" .. somebody said once if you try properly you can achieve anything ..it does not happen yaar ..how much more should one try ..I want to sleep ...I don't care if I have nightmares ..but i just want to sleep ..
I am writing after long time. I have noticed even though i enjoy writing it's generally my last priority. May be I am too lazy or may be I am too much engaged in different stuffs. I also observed i don't write when I am overall happy and it might be surprising I can remain more or less happy all day without being upset or sad. But there are also times when i am mostly upset with few sudden burst of happiness or sadness. I usually write in those times. Considering overall happiness is way better than overall sadness with patches of euphoria, i guess my well wishers would prefer the period when i am not writing.
I agreed to something yesterday even though I was sure it was not right ..it was not right for me not for anyone ..but someone thought that's the right thing so I agreed doing it. my soul was pleading me ..then started abusing me ..telling not to do that mistake again ..but instead of listening to it I agreed because i can not say no to that person and I can not turn down any request that person makes.. So my reply to my soul was ..shut the fuck up!
I sometime wonder why ? why the fuck I can not just snatch what is mine ! I make people's life easy - people whom I hate like crazy, people who devastated my life, people who has taken advantage of my problems , people who has always made my life difficult ...
My life is now like that monkey trying to climb up a oily pole ..it climbs 3 steps one by one and then slide down 3 steps in one go.
Have you ever wondered how strange is human heart/mind( I don't belong to those who believes these two are different )... sometimes very little things .. can cheer it up..May be that little thing ..was there by chance ..but still our heart embrace that and smile with joy as if that little change or thing was meant to make it happy.. You might say one should learn to control his heart so that it does not find happiness in illusions.. but who cares ..in our life percentage of happiness is not plenty ..so if something makes you happy ..just be happy ..don't try to know if it's temporary or permanent .. I was tried of late night flight ..one hour delayed ..thanks to Mumbai congestion ..and I was just about to close my browser and by chance I landed on some page ..and I was happy and so writing again after long time ..anyway though I am mentally quite refreshed but physically just drained ..so need a sleep ..
edit: didn't I say happiness is temporary ..and I am not happy anymore .good night ..
I was waiting for a train to arrive, not sure about whether it would come or not. Once I used to think it will always come no matter what! then after certain period of time I began to think it might not come at all. I was not sure whether I was waiting for it or not, I was not sure if I would board it or not. But may be somehow I was there at the station. And then there was that sharp light almost on time or rather before time announcing it's arrival. Quite soon I realized it was only the engine.. it came slowed down at the station ..or may be It was my imagination ..then it left. I touched it before it was gone. I don't know if it was correct thing to do. Next day at the same time quite unexpectedly it arrived again..should I say unexpectedly? ..I don't know ..but this time just not the engine but also the body the tail ..the whole train. It stopped for a while. and within seconds it was time for departure. I don't know whether I wanted to stop the train for longer. May be I did may be not. But somehow I sensed even if I pull the chain I won't be fined today. But ultimately I didn't do anything and stood there wondering about the day when I will board the return train. I have long time to think.. return train is after 6 months.
Bewakoof aur chutiya mein dhaage barabar ka farak hota hai. Dhage ke henge bewakoof aur hunge, chutiya. Dhaga khench lo to kaun hai bewakoof kaun hai chutiya, carore rupiye ka prashan hai bhaiya.
(A thin line (or thread) separates the fool from the dumbass. On one end of the line lies the fool and on the other, the dumbass. Upon snapping the line it's a million dollar question as to who's the fool and who's the dumbass, brother.*)
I don't know but thin line always reminds me of this dialog from Omkara. I often wonder how do we define straight or gay. Is it simple black and white, Are we all either gay or straight. I thought of writing about this before, but restrained myself. Trust me first time in my life I am trying to think what is the reason behind having such variety of orientation. One thing for sure it's not just another invention of some psychotic western guy who is bored of normal life and trying do something different. It might sound lame but I used think this as the reason as I found it really strange how any guy can find an elastic rod more interesting than beautiful geography of hills, valleys, lake and grand canyon. But homosexuality was back there even in ancient Greece. Alexander the great himself was gay. So there is only one simple conclusion, no one is born with any orientation . orientation is very much related to someone's comfort level. It's not just some warrior enjoy pointing or putting his gun on some fellow/opponent warrior's back. If that's the case then I really doubt if you should call that warrior as gay. He is another guy deprived of or scared of pointing his gun from front. Given the opportunity I am sure he would even love to fire the gun at front heaven. Now it might always happen if someone is habituated to fire at the back, it can back fire and change his orientation. I am really reluctant to call such persons gay. I mentioned about comfort level. If I take the example of those ancient Greek warriors who are fighting years after years, they are used to get comfort from each other's company live and fight for each other. They find more pleasure and comfort in each other's arm than in any slave girl's intimacy. And as sex is directly related to comfort, years of togetherness in battle field can definitely change someone's orientation.
But at the same time there are some not so natural reason for homosexuality. The whole 'taboo' associated with it sometime drives people to try something different or something prohibited. and then comes dilemma, guilty feeling, orientation check blah blah !!Sometimes these are just transient and sometimes depending upon the fragileness of that person the impact can be huge.
I guess some of you are pissed of me for only discussing about homosexuality of men. Well may be the number of lesbians out there are more but I must say most of the girls you have seen in so called lesbian porn are not really lesbians. It's just that women are more shameless with or in front of each other than men. Reason for homosexuality of women can be both their tender as well as dominant nature. how so ? I hope you have already figured out the answer or wait for my updates after few days.
Anyway while writing today I wanted to talk how knowing about something called homosexuality has changed the way we behave talk or perceive things.
Back during my school days when I didn't have much idea about all these sexual orientation It seemed perfectly alright to hug a male friend. And now I don't really remember when is the last time I actually hugged or saw any of friends hugging each other. If anyone ever tells his friend he loves him he would most probably add the suffix "in a heterosexual way". A friend of mine recently moved from Mumbai to Bangalore and I was feeling bit bad thinking I will be bored on the weekends. But then I thought may be I should not say that.. it might sound bit gay. There was another funny incident few months back me and my roomie went to some Latino dance class. For practice at home unfortunately we didn't have any helping female neighbor so we decided to be each other partner, but we consciously made an effort that nobody finds us doing that.
declaimer: This posts is intended for those vegetarians who considers themselves better human being than us. I have no objections against vegetarians who do not question our(non-veggies) empathy towards animates.
If you ask any vegetarians to define foods which can be considered as veg, you will find a wide variety of answers - while some consider onion as non-veg, some will argue eggs as veg. I shall ask a simple question. Do you think killing an embryo is less cruel than killing a full grown human being ? Some would say killing an embryo is even more disgusting, you are killing a innocent life without giving it a chance to flourish. Besides you are also depriving the mother from her baby love. So all eggeterians who loves lecturing us about killing life remember you are no better. I know some of you have already started to protest the eggs you consume are infertile. You make me laugh!! do you think it's ok to eat some infertile embryo or dead baby ?? so keep your voice down and stop arguing.
Well so called pure vegetarians has no reason to rejoice. When you are having that milk shake or paneer tikka masala ..don't forget cows don't really produce milk for your consumption. It's for her child. You are making that poor cow a lactating slut and depriving the calf from it's birth right. Just that I don't want you to die starving I haven't started about the lives of plants.
Next time you want to give us, non-vegetarians some lecture remember you are no better. Any biology book will tell you human beings are omnivorous. So we are just being humans :) Ref: humans are omnivorous ( article from vegetarian resource group :D )
I don't know why ..but I am upset ..I am terribly upset. I don't know whether I am upset of myself whether I am upset my flat mates or the movie I was just watching ..the whole day was quite nice ..unlike many other days ..when the moment I leave my office ..and walk back home ..I feel like ok I am going to be depressed today ..and I keep on telling myself no you won't ..you will be just fine ..you have lots of things to do ..you will watch movie ..read on your favorite topic ..how to be more and more rich !! But someday it does not work !! but today was different I was feeling perfectly fine ..I even cooked my food ..now just before sleeping somehow I am extremely upset.. Anyway good part is I am going to sleep now ..so thankfully I won't be depressed ..people have this notion about drinking that you do that to live in sadness ..the so called devdas theory ..But drinking is really good ...helping .. at least If I had some beer ..I might have felt better now ..tomorrow the first thing I am gonna do is to stock beer in my fridge..
I have asked myself this question several times. What we remember most? Some friends told me we tend to remember the joyful memories and forget those ones which are not so good. I don't know may be it's true I tried to verify it a lot but somehow I felt I remember those memories which are not so good but somehow touched me. anyway i am not going to start with memory again. An insignificant(is it?) memory - when i was a kid, once i went to my cousin-brother's marriage. After coming back home i told my sister the bride was not so beautiful. My sis actually came quite strongly against this comment. She said so what! if everyone starts looking for external beauty what about those girls who are not so beautiful but nice at heart. Though I was kid then and my sis was also quite small at that time, that comment touched me a lot! I heard people saying as you get matured after certain age you don't look for physical beauty. But I really think it's not so true. I think when we are kids we are less conscious about the beauty about our potential :) girlfriends. Till you get married, the more you grow up specially after college you are more conscious about physical beauty about your tobe partner. I have friends, very decent, but even they sometime are in dilemma like "if others would find her beautiful". I am not blaming anyone here, or should I say I don't have the right to blame anyone, coz may be one part of me think like them. By the way whatever I am writing is strictly male point of view, I think girls are lot better than us in this regard. Isn't it really sad, unfortunate for a girl who is really romantic in heart, sweet and adventurous etc etc to get married to some extremely boring person, just because she is not beautiful. (Well in India even so called beautiful and witty girls also get married to undeserving persons and compromise for rest of their lives! long live arrange marriage. anyway that's a different discussion) I think beauty is no(should not be) criteria for love, at best it's like a good perfume which attracts you.Like the fragrance of perfume beauty is also transient. I really doubt if beauty has ever acted as a binding force for a couple. It's the inner beauty that binds everything. may be you have heard the same comment lots of time before but it's true. You might find some girl not so beautiful when you first see her, but after sometime when she has become a good friend of yours, you will find her quite decent looking. How much of these opinions I follow in my life? I can't say ..sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. ..you might call me hypocrite. I shall put the blame on my sun sign (pisces) and feel happy ! good night !
claimer: All characters appearing in this blog are real and any resemblance to anyone living or dead, is purely intentional.
It was Friday evening, so far the coolest evening. Me (Harry) , Chipak, Orange, Ricky, Nash and Sampy all heading towards my place for our weekend party. Let me give a bit detail how these name came ..well It all started when i tried to order pizza from dominos ..and it seemed to me they have an extra H at the beginning of my name in their record ..I tried to correct that but instead as a side effect everyone started to add an extra H to my name.. within few moments like a chain reaction everyone's name was modified .. Ricky got called as Mr. Manager ..Sampy and Nash got a H like me .. Some different name came to my mind for orange ..I am not mentioning it !!
Anyway it started with brief in'door' cricket match with some strange rules. If you hit any furniture, any wall directly you are out. Apart from normal catch we also had caught after one bounce... you can guess how tricky it can get to last even one over. But soon dumb C with booze seemed more interesting game .. and it turned out to be a lot funnier than cricket. I shall start with Shri 420. Sampy declared u can't show number in Dumb C ..which clearly gave the hint the movie got some number in it's name. Orange was trying her best to give the hints ..After few minutes of unsuccessful trying suddenly Chipak said "well it can't have numbers for sure ..sampy already declared that" !!! orange was like what the f*** !! Immediately Chipak realized his mistake and guessed the movie correctly .. Another movie was Pelican Brief .. Nash was supposed to be the actor .. now in spite of having simplest second half ..he concentrated on hinting 1st half..no points for guessing why he did that ..finally after some failed attempt ..he finally decided to move on to second part .. and placed his hand just bit bellow his belt ..wild guesses started to fly around .. 'waist' , 'belt' , 'underpants', 'panty' ...and finally 'brief' .. but unfortunately the opposition could not remember the movie .. or the bird pelican ..so it remained unsolved .. one clue was for Forest Gump .. it was Chipak's turn to give the clues ... He started to make different animal noise to depict forest ..and apparently turned Dumb C into screaming C . .. next hint was for Appclypto ..Sampy successfully built his clues for lip and toe .. making liptoe ..Realizing the movie was appoclypto ..I forgot the name of the movie in excitement and shouted adolypto or something similar.. Ricky came for our rescue .. there were many other movies like Mackenna's Gold,chokher bali, the poseidon adventure, frida, aradhana, gajgamini, zodiac etc... the last one as far as I remember was One flew over cuckoo's nest .. Nash actually haven't seen or known the movie ..and he was supposed to guess .. after guessing names of series of birds ..starting from sparrow, parrot etc ..finally he landed at cuckoo. now the tricky part was constructing 'over' .. orange tried to make an oval .. my toad alter ego took over me ..and I started to jump to depict over .. When none of these worked cricket came to the rescue and after 6 balls ..'over' was complete
In between there were few incidents like ..somebody forgetting to zeep up after using the toilet .. everyone calling Ricky as Mr. manager .. Nash drinking old monk on flames ..orange almost hearing me saying something started with K .. which was interpreted as lots of different K words.. (I must say nobody actually guessed it correctly)
ultimately it was huge fun !! wish we can do that more often !
It's 4:30 in th morning and I still can't sleep. My mind is overwhelmed with so many words thoughts ..I felt I can't sleep unless I write down some of them. Whenever I think about mind I just get so much amazed, may be mind is the most ingenious creation of God (atheists please find your own suitable term). I am thinking aloud now!! have you ever tried controlling your mind I mean making it think whatever you want it to think. try doing that and I can assure you will be thinking 10 different things but not the intended one. But does that mean you can't think what you want ! of course you can ..but just don't try too hard, Mr. mind is a free soul if you try to dictate it won't give a damn .. now there is a paradox here. when I am saying 'you' control mind ..can u tell me what is represented by 'you'. isn't it the same mind? please don't say 'you' is heart..I think heart is nothing but an instrument that keeps animals(including human beings) alive by circulating blood. Talking about paradox made me think something else ..am really writing this blog or is this just a dream, or a dream inside a dream ..and so on ! frankly I have no way to prove that.I already said I am thinking aloud so pardon me if you find this post absolutely out of order. Long time back I have discovered I have two contradicting personalities inside me ..the asshole me and the emotional me .. and usually both of them are present at the same time.. let me give you one example .. I still sometimes find it quite amusing to read the crap people usually put down in their about me in orkut ..unless it is an one page essay with ascii flowers or trees . The most hilarious ones are those with lots of keywords like 'mah' 'da' 'attitude' 'cool' 'rock' etc. this was the asshole me ! now i don't know why at the same time my emotional me pop up and try to see what that guy or girl has written in his 'from my past relationships i learned' . Usually it's mostly lots of ...chucha chucha ..( courtesy Ajay Devgan - Sunday) ..the one I liked till now was ' I can be better'.. After reading so many different scraps/posts sometimes I think I can write a research paper on attention seeking first scraps. But it is definitely not the time for that ..it's already 5 and I need to crash ..
Friday night..started with RAMBO 4 ... Saturday morning again RAMBO 4, yes the movie was good but I am no die hard fan of Stallone ..it was just becoz I could not say no to one of my friends.. anyway rest of Saturday was no good ..I was out with my friend and his dutch colleague to help them in shopping. I don't know how others feel, but for me it totally sucks to move from one shop to another and then one mall to another ..when you are not buying anything and also not making any comment on what to buy ..though it was good chick seeing but I was finding it hard to prevent myself cursing my friend. Sunday morning looked good though bit cold..I went out to watch Reservation Road ..I used to think girls are generally more sophisticated than guys. I remember in an interview Sophie Loren was asked by an interviewer "We always wonder you are so much sophisticated ..do you ever fart!" anyway while going for the movie I saw this chick who dressed and looked quite sophisticated, scratching her ass with her hand in her jeans !! com'on even we guys don't do that !! anyway watched the movie .. and of course once again some huge guy was beside me!! though I really wonder would it have made any difference if it was some good looking chick! I guess you already sensed I am drunk again.. movie was good I was walking back home.. and there were atleast 5 or 6 dogs fighting with each other on the road. As usual my heart stopped ..I took out my cell to pretend I am not bothered and dialed some random no .." This number does not exist .please ..." fuck you I know that already ..anyway I crossed past those dogs and felt relieved. End of one more boring weekend! After long time I am going to listen Enigma today ..
I really don't understand why do we consider black as a color for evil and white for good .. during my school days I had a teacher who was strictly against black dress .personally i like both the colors quite a lot ..may be black a bit more.. though I pefer to see few persons in white more. Generally black means darkness and white is brightness..but don't you like darkness sometimes..when I was a kid i used to love when there was a power cut..that was my chance to stop studying and lie down ..even though it never lasted long ...coz mom would bring emergency light within 5 mins ..when I was in hostel darkness was the time when you can practice slangs against your opponent hostel or strict administrators ..and even now darkness means I can be completely isolated ..no disturbance ..no distraction ..just only me ..I recently realized I lost the keys of my home ..and the room is locked ..i don't remember if I locked it or someone else ..I don't remember if it was dark at the time or sunny bright .. does not matter ...darkness is soothing ..it touches you very intimately ..I was falling ...from where ..don't know..as I was falling I was trying to decide what I want to be .. a bird ..I always wanted to be a bird ..and fly home ...but alas i have lost the keys .. i need to think something else ..I wanna be your underwear ..oh no not me ..I was thinking about this song by Brayn Adams ...so much of thinking while falling was making me want to pee.. now I am stuck in typical Hamletian dilemma to pee or not to pee .
I sometime wonder if there is any person who does not like music, of course everyone's music taste is not equal. During my graduation I did some course on cognition and human memory. Today I was listening to some old music and was thinking about those days in college. We did several projects about how memory works and how it is related to visual cues etc. Recently I realized how music can be related to our memories and can act as a strong queue to make them alive again. Whenever I listen to Kambakth Ishq from pyar tune kya kiya ..it reminds me of those good old first 15 days of first year. I don't know.. it just creates the same feeling we used to have when we went to auditorium to watch movies, always alert about seniors ..if by any chance any new senior get hold of us he would start embarrassing us..asking us to sing ( I got spared most of the time ..as it was always hard for the seniors to tolerate more than one minute demonstration of my singing talent) or dance in front of everyone or shout some slangs standing on your seat or sometimes on the podium. there are other instances ..like the moment I listen to Woh Lamhe Woh Baatein..it reminds me of my internship days ..sleeping at the beach till 2 or 3 am ..boozing ..or peeing on the ocean ( Varun and me will never forget this)..or those long calls on phone .. and somehow it takes me to those moments and make me smile .. Funny part is songs not only get associated with few nice memories but also some not so nice ones.. like the song bheegi bheegi si hai raaten bheegi bheegi...no matter how many time I listen it takes me to the same day ..
The primary reason of course you will get in touch with lots of bitches. Dog dad is not really bothered about whether his baby is a dog or a bitch. So sex ration is still quite good. If anytime you are feeling bit intoxicated you don't need to take any artificial route. Just get hold of the nearest bitch. And the bonus is all these you can do without getting aids. Though I can't guarantee that. I am sure no dog is horny ,frustrated, deprived and sex starved enough to 'make love' with any monkey( the original bearer of HIV) yet but I am not sure about our horny human race. So bitches and dogs beware of ur 'rational' human owners.
Recent news says sexual outlook for dogs is not as colorful as it was before. If you want to believe my friend who claims he has seen a dog to masturbate, seems the competition is getting tougher in dog community too. In a country like us where we still have the obsession of male child, very soon dogs might need to compete with their human owner too. If you think it's just my imagination you may want to look here.
But don't feel disheartened still situation is not out of control as it was in Mumbai recently. Till now no bitch has been surrounded by 80 sex-startved dogs.
I have discussed this with lots of my friends. what makes love immortal. If you go by famous authors they will tell you tragedy. According to them love lasts for a very brief period of time. One week , One month, maximum one year. After that it's completely different story. They say if love ends up being together forever(I really don't think this word can have a usage where it's meaning is justified!! well you can always use this one - "nothing lasts forever" ) it's soon goes extinct. And they really have strong logic. Think about all so called eternal love stories - from Romeo Juliet to our very own Krishna Radha they all have tragic ending. We remember them because they make us think what if or how this can be different!! frankly speaking that's why making a superhit tragic movie is lot easier because tragedy lingers on. When I was in +2 after reading too much of tragic novels I was so attracted towards tragic ending I even at some point of time thought if I love someone a lot she should leave me so that my love for her never ever goes away. But biggest tragedy is none of these authors actually mentioned the after effects of that or may be I didn't gave much importance to those after effects when I read them.
If you are wondering why I am suddenly talking so much about love well I just watched 'The notebook'. If you like romantic movies I would suggest go see this one. I am adding few quotes from this movie ... just to read them again in future ----------- Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch. Young Noah: Would you just stay with me? Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin' Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. Young Allie: So what? Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
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Young Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah
PS: the quotes are not related to my personal opinion or feeling, they sounded nice in the movie.
